The replacement pilots had been on squadron strength for about a week but had already established a reputation for playing practical jokes on all and sundry whenever the opportunity arose. Even the most tolerant fun-loving pilots and ground staff were growing tired of their pranks but seemed resigned to wait for the squadron's natural wastage to take its toll and thereby alleviate the problem.
Olga was busy tarting herself up in the shower block ready for the evening's Christmas party while the stage was being set for the tricksters latest outrage. They had acquired two of Farmer Drubbins's scarecrows and had adapted them to resemble ghastly supernatural effigies, and dressed in this apparel they scaled the boundary fence around the WAAF's ablutions area and entered the shower cubicles. Olga was singing happily while she gleefully considered the romantic possibilities that lay in wait down at the Prince and Polecat. Large clouds of steam arose from around her stout blubbery frame as she soaped herself down with some of Drubbins's pig conditioner carbolic, completely unaware of the duo who now stood on benches at either side of her cubicle and looking down through the steam. Suddenly, they lunged over the top with ear-splitting screams. Olga screamed even louder and smashed through the cubicle door without bothering to open it, heading for the concealment of bushes by the entrance.
The pair quickly decided that Olga's drawers would make a most appropriate trophy and duly made off while outlining the next stage of their plan. That night at the party, Olga stalked about with a face like thunder, determined to find the culprits and exact her revenge - but to no avail.
Next morning, the as yet undetected pair had been detailed for target towing duty. As the Magister slewed drunkenly into the sky, the drawers billowed out behind creating drag which only just allowed the aircraft to fly along above the point of stall. They were no ordinary drawers these - being cut from heavy duty burlap to fulfil stringent Soviet specifications that included the patented gusset, specially treated with a whale oil rot-proof preparation and marked with the covetted Politburo stamp of approval and endorsed by Stalin himself. Initially, they stood up well to the Browning's of HWH Squadron but were inevitably reduced to tatters. On the credit side, this reduced the amount of drag on the poor old 'Maggie'. Some of our readers may recall that Olga's drawers had been used for target practice before, but it was the manner of their misappropriation that now rankled in this latest episode. The smirking dou now made their fatal mistake by landing back at Manston instead of Studely Grange, and Olga slowly nodded in grim satisfaction as she identified those who would abuse her undergarments so outrageously.
On the morning of the following day, the system was backing up at Manston Municipal Sewage Works and the distraught operatives deemed it necessary to quickly inform the Borough Engineer, Mr Hugh Rynal. Within minutes, a sizeable crowd made up of Town Hall officialdom had gathered at the settling filter beds and now gazed in amazement at that which confronted them. The revolving piss-pipes on Number 1 filter bed were juddering and jerking laboriously around, weighed down by two naked gentlemen who had been securely bound lengthways on opposite pipes. God only knows what vile indignities they had been subjected to before being thus secured. All night long they had been continuously bathed in dreadfully noxious liquids and were now pleading pitifully to be released from their torment. Eventually, their stinking forms were duly transported to the Station Sick Bay.
It would be several days and many baths before they would be allowed in the company of their squadron colleagues. Afterwards, the pranks decreased markedly and the chastened pair were much more selective as to who were chosen to be the butt of their jokes. They never found out that things would have been a whole lot worse had Olga managed to find the key to Drubbins's shed which housed the mixing tank for his Special Number 2 Pig Waste Crop Dressing Preparation...
'Find your enemy and shoot him down - everything else is unimportant.'
