Greetings all, my story is too gruesome to relate - it would never get past the censors. Suffice to say that after having been shot down on a secret mission in Deutschland and hiding from the beastly wiles of Olga, I fell into the hands of a village full of young ladies pining for their men away at the war - I was given the choice of revealing secret information or of consuming excessive amounts of alcohol and performing unspeakable acts with the ladies. Fear not, I managed to keep my lips sealed - although at the loss of my dignity. "Give us Old Dux's phone number" they demanded... "and JRT's street address" "No, never" I repeated, "and have you find them and bring them here to undergo what I must endure?...never!" On it went for weeks, day and night - it was terrible! Fortunately, I was able to wear them out, and when they were asleep I crept away. There were moments when I was sure I would never make it back alive!
"you know you've done a wheels up landing when it takes full power to taxi."
