homepage Forums Air Combat & Civil Aviation Battle of Britain + Battle of Britain II Here's what happened (Continued)

Folks,

Before MG gets his speedos on and coats himself with codliver oil or whatever Danes use for sunscreen (I use barbecue sauce myself) let us discuss a few things while our eyes are still open and not covered by our hands. I used to go with a girl named Penny, MG. If she farted I never noticed it. I think it would have embarassed the hell out of both of us.Of course, That was way back before even paper was envented and, without cell phones, if we saw someone a little way off, we had to throw rocks to get each other's attention. Back then, young men were not supposed to know that young ladies had any bodilly functions or if they did know they were not allowed to admit it. It was not until the Mel Brooks movie "Blazing Saddles" came along with that hillarious cowboy campfire scene where all the men were eating beans that everyone suddenly realized and felt farting was OK to mention in polite company. For eons uncountable kids of both sexes had been tickled to death by fart jokes. Just hearing a big, wet one would send us little boys into paroxisms of glorious laughter. But that was done in secret mostly. Now it was ok not only to fart but laugh about it, tell jokes about it and even kid girls about it anywhere.

After Brooks' movie the word "fart" began showing up more and more in the media, eventually on TV and certainly in more movies. Mel Brooks liberated everyone who suffered from the heartbreak of flatulence to go right out and be not only unafraid but to be creative, to surprise, amaze and even produce laughter from family, friends and even strangers. Now doing that in confined spaces like elevators and cabs, church and restaurants was still only marginally safe, most public places were fair game for the ardent, expressive or artistic farter. Beforeour liberation, many years in fact, I was watching a locally produced kids cartoon program on TV. Naturally there was a clown as MC. In fact, years later I used that fellow as a cueq clown to keep the people in line happy while they waited for Santa in one of our malls. I mentioned what happened that day and we had a good laugh. Anyhow it was all live TV back then and in between cartoons the clown would often talk to the kids in the "peanut gallery" on camera.

That afternoon two boys were laughing their butts off in the front row. Intriqued, the clown sidled over and the camera operator focused in tight with a three shot. The boys could hardly contain their mirth. Unthinking, the clown asked one of the boys what was so funny. The boys looked at each other conspitorially and burst out with nervous laughter. Still the clown didn't have a clue and was persistant. What, he asked again, was so funny? He should have known better. One kid looked straight into the camera and as the camerman adjusted the lens into a one shot that kid said with a big smile "Jimmy farted!". The screen went black. Up popped one of those ubiquitous "Sorry! Technical Difficulties" signs that was so popular back in the early bdays of local black & white TV. The one they loved to put up just when something most interesting or critical was about to happen. I waited, and in a few moments the sign disappeared and in the few instants before programming went straight to another cartoon i thought I heard the sound of somone desperately trying to revive someone else. Probably the kid's mother. True story. It illustrates how uptight everyone was back then in the years BM, before Mel.

I have a question regarding the West Indies, MG. Are ther no Danes visiting that tropical paradise these days? Are Danes prohibited by law to strip down to whatever modesty allows and tan on those beautiful beaches? None of your kin got any of that US cash did they? I'd have my nickers in a twist if i were you too. As for me, I have never had the pleasure of viviting the West Indies and therefore I will be happy to take that money back on behalf of the US if you can round it up. In dollars please and in small, unmarked bills if you do not mind. Post that to me in non-discript, brown paper wrapping if it is not too much additional trouble. Then you just go enjoy the warm, unbridaled pleasures of the new Danish West Indies. Oh, and do not forget to bring a Danish flag with you on the plane, just in case they need one.

Fittop:
I found nothing of the slightest interest in that. I did read a few of the more literary articles. Most were just captions really. Some had so many acronymns and anatomical terms in them I gave up. I did learn a few things. For instance, were you aware that some very flexible women can actually put both their legs all the way up behind their ears and more or less tie themselves into a rather attractive knot? I would not say no to a good cup o' hot, calming, or theroputic tea. As for what may be in it.... Do you prefer a bit of tea in your whiskey or is it the other way 'round? A tall, cold glass of New England variety would be tasty as well. The sun is over the yard arm, LeRoy, why not open the bar, there's a good fellow. Look, that woke Dux from his stupo.... unconsc.... nap.