homepage Forums Air Combat & Civil Aviation Wings: Over Flanders Fields The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy?

lol... I find myself strangely applicated... Thank you Lou for your consideration and good judgement of my character.
And AP, I believe I resemble that picture somewhat... less the tongue of course, that would be just... barmy!

Oh, sorry about that Lou, I didn't see you there, under my feet! Rise up dear Sir and sing us a rousing song to go with the indoctrination!

I heartily endorse these two gentlemen! Here, hold my beer and watch this!

Oh no... is this the initiation period?
I flatly refuse to go to the cavalry stables to see a horse with a green tail!

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In this case Trooper it's more likely that you'll be going to the hangars to see an Albatros with a green tail.

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Out of songs at the moment Robert, but how about some of my WOFF-inspired poetry from BOC celebrations gone by. (apologies to Kipling fans everywhere)


There's a Legion that never was listed,
That carries no colours or crest,
And it serves in such barmy detachments,
That it's poor understood by the rest.
Our forebeares they left us their blessing,
They taught us, and groomed us, and crammed;
But we've shaken the ancient few pixels
To go and find out and be damned,
Dear lads!
To go and get shot and be damned.

So some of us fly for the Kaiser,
And some of us soar for the King,
And some rise up for La Marseillaise,
And some for old Sam take to wing:
And some of us drift up to Ypers,
And some drift across to the Somme,
And some share our tucker in Soissons,
And some at St. Mihiel do bomb,
Dear lads!
At St. Mihiel get giddy and bomb.

We've painted old Flanders vermilion,
We've washed the old Alsace in red,
We've shouted on simulat battle,
We've flown until we were dead;
We've laughed at the world as we found it,
From high in the spurious air,
From Zeebrugge on down to Mulhausen
We've battled with nary a care,
Dear lads!
We've flown with nary a care.

The damned depths of Hell were our portion,
And Heaven at large was our share.
There was never a skirmish too windward
But the Virtual Legion was there:
Yes, somehow and somewhere and always
We were first when the trouble began,
From a recce flight over old Lille,
To a dogfight on high over Thann,
Dear lads!
We mounted and fought over Thann.

We preach in advance of the Army,
We skirmish ahead of the Crowds,
With never a general to help us
When we're dying above in the clouds.
But we know as the cartridges finish,
And we're filed on our last little shelves,
That the Legion that never was listed
Will send barmy ones as ourselves,
Good men!
Hundreds barmy, just as ourselves!

Then a health (we must drink it in whispers),
To our wholly unauthorized horde,
To the line of our dusty foreloopers,
The RB3D'ers adored.
Yes, a health to ourselves ere we scatter,
For flight simmers won't wait for the train,
And the Legion that never was listed
Goes back into quarters again!
Regards!
Goes back in the skies once again.
Hurrah!
The Sop and the Alby again.
Here's how!
The Vickers and Spandaus again.
Salute!
Wings O'er Flanders Fields once again!

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A poetic masterpiece Lou erm I mean Your Eminence. Your undeniable talents M'Lord are only exceeded by your good looks and fine physique. Surely you are related to Lord Byron yes. By jove, Your Majesty look on the floor! A ten pound note! Must've slipped out of your waistcoat pocket. Here, let me put it back for you. There …. now Sir may I be so bold as to enquire how my application to join this esteemed Gentlemen's club is proceeding? MFair and Bobby W are both united as to my good character and barmyesque behavioural traits appropriate for such an establishment. I am also a dab hand with a cricket bat and an Irish whiskey. Which brings me to the …. the initiation. Oh Great and Wise One please excuse my candidness …. but in my profession the batman makes the tea and ensures the shaving water is just so. He never wields a bat, either aggressively or for sport. That kind of thing is above their cognitive abilities as you would well know. May I perhaps take on that role. But of course I leave the final decision to you oh Intelligent and Insightful One. Now I must be off. I have some downloading business to which I must attend. The pleasure has been all mine.

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catch, laying it on a bit thick, aren't we? Let me just state that neither my opinion nor my judgement can be swayed by such blatant buttering-uppery, true as your statements concerning my talents, good looks, and Atlas-like physique may be. And I would be remiss in my duties as club president if I were to let these obvious attempts to sway --- ah, so there's where that tenner's got to. Sorry, where was I? Oh yes, this tea could stand a bit of warming and a wee splash of the Irish, there's a good man. Now then, having considered all the qualifications of our newest candidates, and having heard no dissenting votes - though to be fair we've never had a dissenting vote so I'm not really sure what one would sound like anyway - let me be the first to welcome catch and Trooper117 to the Barmy OFFers Club. Glad to have you aboard gentlemen, the term being used in its broadest application here. Trooper will be along posthaste as he is off looking for the other ten pound note I've lost. catch, if you would be so kind as to rouse our Robert from his alcoholic slumbers and bring both him and our most hallowed cricket bat along, we can proceed to the initiation ceremony. And to that, it should be noted that even batmen in the BOC shall first be batted men. To the chair atop the furniture pile you go!

Everyone, we have new members and bar tabs to abuse! BWOC BWOC BWOC!

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My head has been battered many times... I'll lap it up!!!
Right, I'm at the bar... pink gin anyone?

Well....I've heard all about this exclusive club for those thoroughly hooked/dependent on as much WOFF as possible with a bent for absurdity and am very interesting in joining said club.

Ok...the truth is it's pissing down outside and I can smell a bar from another continent.....so anyway my credentials.

Number 1 is a definite, in fact I've sat there in company with obviously such a serious expression on my face that I'm asked what's up? When in fact I'm wondering how the HELL that claim was disallowed when the half the ffin Jasta was there!....and if I don't get a confirmed kill soon I'm going to hang that wingman up by his buster browns!!

Number 4 is a yes. In fact my missus wanders where all the writing pads go....I think she wonders if I'm writing love letters to the milkman.....well I could....but only if he's interested in the exact spot I flamed that Pup and the name of the nearest witness.

I can do better than number 13. I have CD's of German, British, French and US WW1 marches and tunes and often play these in the background as I fly my missions. I also have all these and more similar tunes on my phone to listen to on long journeys....or short journeys...or when cooking. I have yet to DJ them at a party though....that's the next notch for me.

Number 19 is a huge yes. In fact I don't get asked what I would like for Chrimbo or Birthdays anymore....I get asked if I'm going to make room before the next one arrives. A few months ago my copy of The Blue Max by Jack Hunter got ruined due to getting thoroughly wet (by rain!!! I'm daft....not dangerous)....it's replacement was in my possession within 24 hours via Amazon because I paid for next day delivery....even my missus/kids Chrimbo pressies take longer than that.

I could go on...but hopefully I've demonstrated not only the hopelessness of my WOFF addiction....but the barmyness which only comes from far too much Goons and Monty Python.

Now..... a whiskey top please barman...what's on top of the whiskey?.... another whiskey obviously!

Ttfn

Simes

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Well done Simes, I'd say you are most certainly one cylinder short of a rotary. But not quite so quick on that bar order my good man, there'a a process here you know, albeit a sketchy one admittedly. "Aye!" says I, to bringing Simes into the BOC fold. What say you lot, shall we warm up the bat for another one? I'm sensing an epic blow-out in the making.


And Trooper, to each his own, but in my opinion a drink should never be pink, and only gin if it is accompanied by a wisp of vermouth and two olives, (shaken, not stirred).

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only n fruits put fruit in their drinks. I put drink in mine, fruit takes up too much space

Abso...bleedin...lutely. I'm not sentimental.... I'm FULLY mental....as they say.

Ok re the drink.....but bars and I have this special understanding....they help me fall over whereas I prop them up.

The GOONS?!?! Really? I haven't heard of them in years! Were they not the venerable performers of the Ying-tong song? Peter Sellers was a member of that venerable crew of certified screwballs!

Now, if Lou gets back here with that cricket bat... If I could just give him a holler, I'm here in the Minneapolis airport on a layover!

(Hmm. I think I just killed our BWOC immersion factor!)

<Ahem> After the solemn and stately initiation beating ahhh, ceremony, I'll have a nice, fresh Guinness!

Ahh, Minneapolis airport. I spent a year there one day. Do they still have the electronic Englishwoman who announces over the intercoms something along the lines of, "Parents, mind your children at the end of the moving walkway"? I was madly in love with her. Then I met Alexa.

All this cricket is bad for my tennis elbow. I'll need to undertake some rehabilitation activities at the bar.

They were the originals and still the best. Hugely influential. People have reservations about Spike Milligan but he was an absolute loon in the funniest sense. Anyone who had the words 'See! I told you I was Ill' engraved on his headstone is alright by me.

....and apparently they enjoyed a tipple or two..... speaking of which....where's that bloody whisky.

Here here and welcome to the new members. Now if someone can point me in the direction of the bar, I shall stumble there shortly for another round.

The bar is on the left... and there's another one that looks exactly like it nearby but it keeps swaying back and forth. Typical shoddy workmanship,w e'd better help ourselves to the liquor before it all falls off the side.

I'm deeply honoured and yes …. moved …. to be even within spitting distance of this fine establishment. The initiation of the bat was splendid in tandem with the complementary cheap blended whisky. Yes, I think this is my kind of place! What's Lou doing on the floor? And to see my name up on the honour roll was such a bally thrill I almost spilt my aged single malt! Of course I didn't but if I'd spilt it here it wouldn't have mattered. Ah the shoddy furniture has been assembled! I'm gettin' on that wonky old chair now! MFair, grab us an Irish will you there's a good chap. Here's cheers to the BOC!