"At the same time more stuff needs to be synchronized between both planes, which isn't necessary when pilots only see each other from the outside (like damage, mode switches, and other stuff)..."

Janes Longbow 2 could do it...in fact, it could host 4 players in mulit co-op (2 x 2 crew Apache's) with a single CD...and that was, back in 99'...so I have to show my ignorance, and ask again...why not..?

"And yes I would not want the current AI to fly my plane while I'm sitting in the back.."

I had no problem with it in Tornado and Janes F-15... ;\)