homepage Forums Air Combat & Civil Aviation Wings: Over Flanders Fields The Barmy OFFers Club: Have you what it takes to be one of the daft, the touched, the Barmy?

An initiation! Don the hoods and capes and light the torches, lads.

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No hoods, capes, or torches Raine, I believe that's the Elks Club.

For our new members here who are unfamiliar with it, here is a brief outline of what they have to look forward to: Each new initiate will place themselves upside down upon the wooden school chair, perched atop a precarious pile of furniture in the Mess, with the soot-encrusted soles of their flying boots pressed firmly against the ceiling. Vice President Dej, or in his stead Robert, (or for that matter any other senior member who wishes), shall then give each initiate three whacks with the cricket bat, following which the initiate shall recite the words, "Oooh Matron! Is that a dodo in my trousers?", in an octave higher than his normal speaking voice. Upon descending from the perch each new member shall then be given a glass of Warsteiner which they will raise in salute to our assembly, saying "Per dementia ad astra!", at which we shall all down our drink in one.

Let the rites of passage begin!

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Aha! I knew I'd sheen you beef- sheen you bee *hic* sheen ubefur. Shtand shtill you shwabbie, you obviously don't have your land legs or you'd be shtanding shtill like *hic* like *hic* like me. Neither does your twin or that other guy on your left who looks jusht like you too. *HIC* Shouldn't be in the offishers bar without your land legs, itsh bad form. All of shtand shtill, you're making me shea shick.

Now, "Break left" means, tacitcally turning left as fast as you can without breaking anything. Like thish...

*tries to perform a right turn and falls through the mess's new piano*

*hic*

It sounds like my kinda Officer's Club.

Hah! What a bunch of crazies!!

Let's see....rule one...huh! I've actually had that happen to me! Okay, rule two...oh, I've done that too...err...rule three? All my virtual pilots' AI wingmen have backstories? Yeah, right! I only came up for backstories for Lemoine, Jacky-Boy, Switch-Off, Jimmy...Reynard....er....little Devienne.....uhh.....and McHarg, Teddie Lawson, Victor Vertadier......

Huh.

...okay....rule 4....Nope! Not me! No maps on my desktop! Oh, wait, what's this stack of folded up papers?

oh no...

Okay, where do I sign?

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Gentlemen, and I use the term most loosely, we have another new vict - err - umm member. Welcome aboard Wulfe, your tab has been started at the bar and will be abused most heartily. And speaking of abuse - Robert! The cricket bat, if you would be so kind.

BWOC BWOC BWOC!

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Here, here. I heartily welcome this gentleman as he has shown himself to be the right sort! And now for the spanking!

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To quote the eightscore young blondes and brunettes of the Castle Anthrax: "A spanking, a spanking!" To be fair though, in this case it's really more of, "A beating, a beating!"

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And now if you qould be so kind to begin the piping in of the bat I will present said illustrious instrument to our leader, Lou to administer the rights of passage! But first, a round to whet the whistle of our piper!

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Hello old friend. And you too Robert, hello to you as well.



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Wulfe, are you sure you still want to join? Believe me, no amount of padding in your trousers will help. Welcome to the Brotherhood, Get used to seeing this room from the worm’s eye perspective, a lot.

oh boy...

Well, as of now, I drive one of these French Morane Parasol crates in Feb 1915 in a recon/bombing role for my observer. A nice chap but a bit reserved. I got into this lark 'cause the sheilas love a uniform and a bit of this and that. I dunno, they think I'm a bleedin' hero or something he he! You know, fighting for king and country, freedom against tyranny etc. I really think they just enjoy a good serve. So, I try to keep my head down and stay out of strife with the brass and not endanger myself too much. I'm angling for a "blighty", not too bad see, but enough to get me out of this conflict before it gets dangerous. I'm working on it and have a plan. But, if you think I'm gonna tell you, well, you're bloody barmy. Anyway, thanks to the free flight training I received, I aim to set up a flying machine business back in the old dart taking up rich young ladies for a bit of a thrill if you know what I mean.

So that's it, do I qualify and where's the bloody bar?

You just know that this chap survived the war, became involved in some horse racing racket and ended up driving a Jag at some point in the 1970's

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Another fellow with a less-than-firm grip on reality wishing to be with us, eh? Excellent, the more the barmier. Catch, from your above ravings I'd say you are more than qualified to join our cadre. "Aye!" says I. What say the rest of you, or at least those of you currently capable of stringing together a lucid response.

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Not so fast Catch! First you need to attend the meet and greet with our illustrious leader "Lou", the membership and last but not least, to keep everything cricket, an encounter with our batman. Then you may attend the bar and empty your pockets in celebration.

Where is Lou. Has anyone seen him?

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Clean your beer goggles Robert, I'm right here.

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I have to say I must be a tad barmy... anytime I am near a computer, day or night, I log into simhq and the WoFF forums to see if there is a new post of interest to peruse or a video to watch!
My other half often tells me I'm barmy, and half expects me to be wearing my flying helmet and goggles when she walks in and catches me playing WoFF with that 'mad expression' on my face... (it's actually pure concentration)

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Trooper, I don't see your name anywhere on the "Roll Call Of The Barmy". Might we take this as your official application to join? By my reckoning you far surpass the required minimums and your mental state seems clearly in question. We're always looking for more bar tabs to take advantage of.

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An aye for an Ei, I say. Anyone for BWOC Cricket?

Trooper, is this your WoFF face?