homepage Forums Air Combat & Civil Aviation Battle of Britain + Battle of Britain II Here's what happened (Continued)

Folks,

Dux:

After so many more coinkidinkies of the past, I must say that there seems to be some sort of ESP or subliminal projection going on between us. Too bad we cannot also contact the missing SNAFU in this remarkable way or converse with C51 whose wireless connection is failing him. If only we could just get into the head of one of those secretive chaps who control the lottery....

That kit sounds interesting if rather too large to be built on the dining room table without risking imbuing the wrath of SWMNBN. I certainly miss my 12 foot long work bench that still stands moldering at the old place from whence we moved but a year ago last Sunday. There is some recent hope to get that moved over here. If so, I might start working on that huge F4U kit that has been waiting for so many years or the wooden Golden Hind kit that is still in the box. I also have a smaller model of a Viking long ship that could easily be built in the house if I mustered the interest. I even have a 12" metal model Dusenberg still in the box.

My son and I used to build model rockets. We built one that had a camera on it. That was a lot of fun 25 years ago. I believe there are aircraft kits available today that can be built to a strength that allows them to carry small video cameras. That would be great fun. I can imagine flying one of those along side a large gaggle of migrating Canadian geese in vee formation.

LMK when the kit arrives. Or perhaps I will know anyway?

Folks,

74 sqrdn with me attending met 8 unfriendlies at angles 12 just 7 miles North of Redhill. It was a rip roaring furball that brought us down to grass level over Kenly where I had the honor of dropping one right on their field Blue Max style and another from higher altitude trying to get away fell a mile or two away. I have yet to receive so much as a thank you.

Dux why don't we ask for an engine check tomorrow and drop in on those thoughtless chaps, I'd at least like a souvenir for our mess.

JRT,

Drop in on Bader's territory and admonish them for failing to appreciate our endeavours?!

A serious de-bagging and tar and feathering is sure to be the result of such a suicidal incursion. C51 never got his best-blue trousers back off the flagpole when he went there on a 'friendly' visit...
No - far better if we send Olga.

However, congrats on your 'double'.

Folks,

Dux:

OK. Perhaps I was a trifle hasty, I had forgotten about C51. It has always been my opinion that one HWH chap was worth any three of any other sqdrn. in any scrap. On reflection and thinking more realistically, if one takes the number of combatants available (even those with less than two legs) at Kenly and then divides that number by 3 there would still be a rather daunting advantage on their side.... Olga it is then, and may Providence have mercy on their souls.

Thank you for your congratulations. Through trial and mostly error I have finally determined that it is much more fun to maneuver onto the Hun's six and blast away at his tail rather than having it the other way 'round. I may however miss that panoramic view from the silk elevator, but not much.

Gents,

JRT,

I thought you would agree. Just what had you got in mind? An MG17, rudder, compass, joystick, a few rounds of MG FF ammo or a throttle control lever perhaps? With luck, maybe a packet of stogies if you managed to bag AG - what!

Olga was duly chosen to...well, actually, she immediately demanded the keys to SNAFU's Bentley and sped off towards Kenley while towing that string of bean cans which had been fixed to the tailpipe as an early warning device should any unauthorised persons attempt to take the said vehicle.

I am sure she intends to spend the night there because she packed Drubbins' horsewhip and her Soviet Heroines Bridal Ensemble which she purchased by mail order from the 1939 Politburo Fashion Catalogue Kiev Tractor Factory Edition after an inebriated C51 rashly promised to marry her in order to pay off a gambling debt. I wonder which poor sod will be struggling to undo her wire-reinforced stays?

Folks,

Dux:

Yes, when it is my tender ass that is on the line I tend to favor any suggestion that might remove it from danger. I am willing to take the credit but somehow I doubt that it was the stogie puffing Galland that I bagged. It might have been one of his brothers but I doubt that too. Most likely it was some poorly trained, jilted conscript bent upon punching his ticket to Valhalla a few years early.

IMHO those cans all in a tangle and bouncing loudly behind that long, black car will not give them enough warning. Even if we got on the blower and warned them personally it would make little difference now that Olga's blood is up. In hunting mode she is unstoppable.

What would I like? I would prefer a nice cutting off the tail that includes any kill ticks and the swastika, somewhat like Bruno Staukel did in the Blue Max. If there are a lot of hash marks on the tail then the pilot's scalp might also be a nice souvenir though it would be somewhat too grizzly for the mess.

Folks,

I have some very good tidings for a change. No, Olga has not taken a much needed bath. No, SNAFU has not returned from the Channel mists into which he disappeared. No, Dux has not found quite enough charity in his heart to allow him to share that bottle of Napoleon Brandy he has stashed safely away. No, MG has not found the Danish equivalent to the remarkably long English word supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

The good news is that C51 has finally, once and for all, cured his Internet connection problem thus allowing him to visit us here as often as he wishes. Someone alert Olga. I want C51's return to be unforgettable... and nothing I know of is more unforgettable (for those who survive) than Olga's welcoming embrace. Oh, and Dux do see that she has been properly coiffured and her face shaved. There's a good lad.

Happy Day for me Gentlemen,
the internet folks have managed to roll a cable up to my igloo, so if the sled dogs dont chew though it before the snow covers it up, I am here to stay.

Hmmm... I don't seem to recall that offer of marriage to Olga, but then again I don't remember the debt either. It seems I should be even more grateful than I am already.

"Undo her wire-reinforced stays?" the carnage! what a disturbing image you have left in my mind's eye. You have not lost your literary razor-sharp wit.

Unforgetable in conjunction with Olga does not conjur up quite the same mood as the Nat Cole version. Funny how a word can lose its lustre so quickly.

Thanks for the welcome JRT

Folks,

C51:

Welcome home. Considering your heroic appetite for strong drink, I'd venture to guess that you have forgotten many more things. I believe that I have as well. We do not even need to consider all the little gray cells Dux has managed to kill off in just the past several days. It is for that reason, and for his own good that I beg you to remember where Dux has stashed that brandy. Before you went away you were in possession of that desirable secret. Think hard, it is for his own good.

Good Day Lads,

JRT, for the life of me I can't reem to secall what Dux did with that brattle of bondy. Perhaps a crop of the draythur will refrench the mammory. Anyding for Old Thux.

Chaps,

Welcome back C51! I would be more than delighted to offer you a swig from that presentation gallon bottle of Olga's Crimean Curse, quality five-year plan rocket....er...after-dinner brandy but I was so determined to get her off to a speedy start towards Redhill that I bunged it into the tank of SNAFU'S Bentley. As I should have realized, the valves melted as she passed Drubbins' pig-sty and she continued on her way in his brand new Fordson tractor.
Nothing will deter that woman from her ultimate goal - and God only knows what that might be...

Folks,

Dux:

We can only guess... and be thankful we are not in her way as she plows methodically along toward her goal. If she is still sewing her wild oats that particular commodity must be available in great quantity by now.

I am pleased that SNAFU is not here to see what has befallen his prized automobile. After we traded in his Rolls, without his knowledge or consent I might add, the Bentley was purchased and it became his fondest possession. He even claimed he preferred it to the Rolls.

I can easily see why. Frankly he was lucky we traded that old bucket of bolts in for him when we did. After you drove it those 300 miles in low gear to the National Bar Maid Trials at Grimsley, then locked the transmission by speed shifting into reverse at 50 MPH, you had to return home entirely in reverse gear. After all that stress the vehicle, several motorists and more than a few pedestrians never were the same.

SNAFU finally forgave you of course and, to your lasting credit, the triple eight you burned in the tarmac at Grimsley has never been duplicated before or since. It has been said that so thick were the impressions that it was several years before the rubber tyre marks even began to fade and that the smell of burning rubber remained in the air until the famous hurricane of '32.

Folks,

There doesn't seem to be much activity around here today...yes, even less than usual. Must I switch to an industrial strength soap or is it something else? Oh mine gott! Perhaps Olga has returned early and no one bothered to warn m.......

JRT,

11 Group signal informs Fighter Command HQ that Kenley airfield is now off-line! Nothing to do with Luftwaffe attacks. Apparently, all their squadron personnel have succumbed to physical exhaustion for reasons unknown. Several distressed airmen have been seen in the vicinity of that airfield running hither and thither while wearing no trousers or underpants!
The only other reported sign of activity was a robust looking woman in a red Fordson tractor who appeared to be gathering various bits and pieces from enemy aircraft crash sites. No doubt engaged on work of national importance officials have concluded.

Do you think we should report our obvious conclusions?

Folks,

Dux:

Never report the obvious old chum. In the first place, the boys with egg on their hats will never see or believe it, and in the second, we could easily become the likely scapegoats when they do ignore the obvious and someone in the trenches must answer for it later.

I wonder how long 11 Group might be out of action? Chain Home reported several vics of enemy aircraft were headed their way. These were intercepted by our chaps and most of them wisely turned back after dropping their eggs in the sea. Two damaged 111s completely cut to pieces and trailing long black clouds of smoke, were seen limping on toward Kenly. When last seen they were in their finals, apparently in hopes of settling down on the cluttered field and surrendering.

I say, someone should at least fire a red very pistol shell, it seems beastly uncharitable to allow the unarmed Hun to blunder into an area under Olga's control without so much as a heads up. If word leaks out there might be reprisals and SNAFU is still sunning himself in one Stalag or another across the Channel. Plus, after the war, there could even be some tricky accusations of inhumane treatment of prisoners. Let us therefore consider our options.

Getting further off topic, happy Halloween to one and to all. I do hope that you did not forget to carve your pumpkin Dux. Leroy will bake some fine pumpkin pies out of our discards. We have had some rather chilling tales of the macabre penned by our members. Thinking back over the years I well remember your "Ghost Squadron" Dux. I wonder are those wild hares dancing in the moonlight again tonight?

Folks,

Could Olga be descended from the fabled Amazons?

Dr. Jeannine Davis-Kimball, at the Center for the Study of the Eurasian Nomads, in Berkeley, California, is certain that there existed a race of powerful warrior women, or 'Amazons', in Russia. In 1995, she led excavations which unearthed fifty kurgans (burial mounds) near Pokrovka, Russia; in the Eurasian Steppe, near the border of Kazakstan.

The dig exposed the remains of women who had been buried with weapons and other artifacts and dated to ca. 600 BC. Furthermore, the skeleton of a teen-aged female featured dramatic bowed leg bones which indicated that this individual had spent a good bit of time, and from an early age, astride a horse. There was evidence that this young woman had been killed by an arrow to the chest. It is believed that these skeletons belong to the race known as Scythians.

No one really knows the origin of these "Amazons". Legend has it that a group of them escaped from their Greek captors aboard a ship in the Black Sea. They came ashore by the Sea of Azov, warred with and eventually mated with the local Scythians from Colchis (south of the Caucasus). Their children are known as Sauromations; the earliest ancestors of the Sarmatian tribes.

After many months of difficult scholarly work (by other people of course) I have finally come to believe that Olga can probably trace her roots deep into the ancient soils that are today mother Russia. I believe she is a direct descendant of this ancient clan of warrior women. If you can swallo... I mean..accept this, I have some good and bad news.

I understand that both those 111s crash landed at Kenly (our local spelling, for there is a Kenly, NC but a few miles from here) and there were only two survivors, a pilot and a navigator, all the rest of the crews were killed in the battle or subsequent crash. These unfortunate airmen disappeared before medical aid could be rendered or about the same time that Olga and her red tractor, by now laden down with the entire tail section of one of the bombers, retreated over the horizon.

Being empathetic by nature, I feel so sorry for these misguided but brave men. I do not envy them their fate, for the bad news is that it is well documented that the ancient mating ritual of the Scythian women is difficult, lengthy and exquisitely painful for the man. The good news is that fatalities seldom occur until about the fifth week.....

Greetings friends,

It is raining and 10/10th overcast so the weather here lends itself to some leisure, browsing the latest catalogue from the RAF Museum in Hendon.

Years ago I bought a calender and some other stuff from them, and they faithfully send me a copy of their quarterly, so now I'm intrigued at several items in their inventory;

Wings; a BBC drama from 1977-78 set during WW1. Never heard about that one before, anyone know if it's any good?

Piece of Cake, I know about that one and was thinking of getting it.

Best of Commando; the comic series; I used to pack a suitcase full of them when going on summer holiday as a kid, anyone remember those, and where did my copies go??

Appointment in London w. Dirk Bogarde, can't remember if I've ever seen that.

A book called The Wicked Wit of Winston Churchill. Sounds like fun reading.

Among other items worth a mention are the usual caps, badges, socks, fleece jackets etc., all with the RAF logo prominently displayed.

I also must mention a book called Wartime Recipes, containing 40 wholesome recipes from WW2. Perhaps something to whet one's appetite, and gain new inspiration for home cooking?

Today at least I'm having a classic evening meal; Biksemad, what the Swedes call pyttipanna.

In short, www.rafmuseumshop.com

Folks,

MG:

I can sympathize with you regarding your weather. We have been completely socked in for days.

I am not familiar with the more recent BBC version but Wings (1927), is not only the FIRST winner of the Best Picture Academy Award, it is one of the BEST films to hold that title, and I say that knowing that Casablanca, Gladiator, and other greats all hold the statue too.

It stars Clara Bow, James Arless, and Buddy Rogers. They put in fine performances and a young Gary Cooper makes an early film appearance. I like the film however as WW1 films go, a lesser film "Dawn Patrol" really is my favorite mainly due to the fact that Errol Flynn, David Niven and Basil Rathbone all star in it.

Churchill is one of my heroes so that book certainly sounds interesting to me. Considering the rationing and severe privations of that war, many people may have been forced to eat the cook book itself.... Remember the slogan, "They also served who stayed at home (and cooked)"...

A quick glance at my calendar tells me it is now November. OK, fellows how does it go? Remember, remember the fifth of November? Of course in Dux's case we might forget the dastardly plot and Guy as well for in applying it to our good drinking pal Dux it might go something more like "Remember, Remember the fifth of November, of December, of January, of February, etc.

JRT, McG,

It now looks fairly certain that the warlike characteristics of our heroine have their roots in the lineage described. Her predescessors association with the Scythians would explain her scythe-like approach to dealing with boy-friends and enemies alike.

A Piece of Cake by Derek Robinson is a good book indeed, and the film Appointment in London is a fine war film about Bomber Command starring Dirk Bogarde. The 'appointment' was at Buckingham Palace where they went to collect their gongs. As it was made in the fifties there are interesting bits featuring aircraft of the wartime and post-war years.

Wartime recipes represented healthier eating than those which make up our diet today. Who could resist grilled mock-rissoles, starlings en brochette and a delightful sponge cake conjured up with three carrots and a hairnet?

Folks,

Dux:

Ditto all you typed regarding all he typed. Hmmmm. May I call your attention to the active word "mock" in the title of that tasty recipe? Over the years, and several bottles of Pepto Bismol later, I have come to the conclusion that is never a good omen.

I took a long walk by the river this beautiful fall morning. Some trees were still in shadow but others across the water were ablaze in their autumn finery. I spied what I identified as a Cormorant perched in a pool of sunlight out in the middle of the current. He was a medium sized bird. His feathers were dark, his bill was not particularly long and a reddish yellow in color. I'd say his neck was too long for a duck and ducks don't perch do they? He was holding onto a tiny branch that was sticking up out of the water from a submerged snag. I watched for a time and as the bird opened its wings several times, not in an attempt to fly, but rather to dry or warm them, I wondered how it managed to keep its balance.

Eventually the bird sidled down the limb into the water and paddled away up stream. In a moment he dove and reappeared even farther up river. I soon lost him as he rounded a curve near the cane forest. I'm sure they are common but I have never seen this bird here before.

OK, you are quite right to remind everyone that my skills of bird identification are miserably lacking. In spite of that grievous shortcoming I can say with 100% reliability that whatever it may have been, it definitely was not a chicken.