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Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.

The 87 year old said, 'Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies.'

So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. He said, 'Do you have any rye bread?'

She said, 'Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?'

He said, 'I want 5 loaves.'

She said, 'My goodness, 5 loaves ... by the time you get to the 5th loaf, it'll be hard.'

He replied, 'I can't believe it, everybody in the world knows about this crap but me.'

I don't get it?

Li'lJugs, your mind is obviously far too pure and unsullied to be troubled by such filthy innuendo.

Unfortunately, I anticipated the punchline, so I'm probably going to hell

It is a burden I courageously live with.

either that or your brain is freezing from all that good weather

I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe you should try some rye bread?

I eat rye bread for breakfast, for dinner, and for snacks. Haven�t noticed any effects.

Maybe you should wait a day before eating it?

Leave it on the counter, unwrapped, for a day or two. It'll get hard.

I generally like rye bread with lots of butter or some oil, sometimes with whipped cream, and on the rare occasion with whips, leather and chains...


Also,

Hahaha good one.

Here's my rye bread story:

A production company I worked for did a documentary for a 75 year old bakery here in Ottawa that is well known for it's rye bread. I was asked to do some of the foley and sound work for it and one day towards the end of post-production the director came in and had a look at what we'd done. First off, the guy was almost totally deaf so his first comment was "all the sounds are way too quiet". My boss and I rolled our eyes, made a note and continued. We came to a shot of one of the bakers arranging the loaves in the oven and some steam was rising off the rye and the director caught it and said "I want to hear the sound of that bread baking."

Well bread doesn't make a sound when it bakes but since we were in charge of sound, well, you do what the director says. So the next day I spent the morning in the foley room trying to recreate the sound of bread baking. We tried many different things but the one that worked the best was just me "whoooosh"-ing into the mic with a bit of effect work on the sound board.

So now everytime my girlfriend makes bread she waves me urgently into the kitchen and says "can you make that sound so that our bread turns out right?"