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Master of the Weird Veteran
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Master of the Weird Veteran
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http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39512?issue=4228&special=2005 Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory
KANSAS CITY, KS�As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.
"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University. It's all so clear to me now! 
�2010-oo All Your rights belong to Me
By reading this You acknowledge that Your body and soul, including all your worldly possessions, are now property of this poster. Any unauthorized use of them will be punished.
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Hotshot
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Hi, That's new .... .. and I'm falling from my chair ...  Well .. good bye Mr Newton LOL Certainly from there came out all the NASA scientists. OFF
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Bit of a chowderhead Veteran
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Bit of a chowderhead Veteran
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Nevermind that Kansas City is in Missouri.  
LukeFF: Oleg got rid of his moustache!  akdavis: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
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♠♂♫ �'88 Member
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♠♂♫ �'88 Member
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wow. hasn't anybody thought of stopping these folks?  or is it a nation-wide conspiracy?
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Senior Member
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Senior Member
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So if someone drops an apple in Alaska and at thesame time someone also does that in Australia, then God is pushing and pulling at thesame time? Oh, I forgot he's God, he can do that! Sorry.
I Want To Believe
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♠♂♫ �'88 Member
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Posts: 1,876
SimHQ's resident fire enthusiast. Member
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SimHQ's resident fire enthusiast. Member
Joined: Dec 2005
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Yeah, the Onion..
Btw, Isn't Intelligent falling something Richard Dawkings thought up when he ridiculed intelligent design?
--- Edited spelling ---
Last edited by Immermann; 09/04/08 11:22 PM.
"When I saw The Matrix at a local theatre in Slovenia, I had the unique opportunity of sitting close to the ideal spectator of the film - namely, to an idiot." - Slavoj Zizek
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JESC
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JESC
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I'm not a physicist. Actually I'm a mathematician with some background in RNA folding algorithms. IMO they could have gone straight with Einstein's geometric interpretation of the universe (which IIRC, doesn't involve gravity as a force/wave but just a bend in space that makes it look like we're attracted to a massive object) Just a rough recall from me... I'll accept any incoming correction about my opinion
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♠♂♫ �'88 Member
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♠♂♫ �'88 Member
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I believe that the gravitational pull is a force.
I'm really lost when somebody talks to me about concepts like time, light etc.
but this is what I think: the more atoms there are, the greater their "magnetical" force..
so the Earth acts like a great big magnet. now, I can't explain small "iron-loving" magnets,
and I'm too lazy to check it out on Wiki. but give a thought to what I said.
even better, tell me why do you think it's wrong, if you do.
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Nothing is scarier than religious whackos.
Leeman/LeemzHQ
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Joined: Dec 2000
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(Heterosexual)Tchaikovsky Ballet Fan Lifer
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(Heterosexual)Tchaikovsky Ballet Fan Lifer
Joined: Dec 2000
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Nevermind that Kansas City is in Missouri. Or that my hometown of Columbus, Georgia is actually in Ohio. http://www.wycokck.org/
The issue is not p*ssy. The issue is monkey.
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Pro-Consul of Florida King Crimson - SimHQ's Top Poster
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Pro-Consul of Florida King Crimson - SimHQ's Top Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 125,020 Likes: 66 |
Miami, Florida is actually in Cuba.
“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”
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I sometimes feel a little pang of sympathy for religious whakos. They have so little to support their delusions that they are constantly and pathetically clutching at even the most redundant counter theories and ideas. Poor fools.
KONA and the Seven Stanes. No better combination
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Hotshot
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Joined: May 2005
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http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39512?issue=4228&special=2005 Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory
KANSAS CITY, KS�As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.
"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University. It's all so clear to me now! My word!! This explains the odd sign at saw at my church! [img]http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k184/Packy_03/churchsign.jpg?t=1220538215[/img] i give up..how the hell do i post an image from my page?
Last edited by Patrocles; 09/04/08 02:33 PM.
Animal Mother > Rambo+ChuckNorris
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Pro-Consul of Florida King Crimson - SimHQ's Top Poster
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Pro-Consul of Florida King Crimson - SimHQ's Top Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 125,020 Likes: 66 |
My word!! This explains the odd sign at saw at my church!
[img]http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k184/Packy_03/churchsign.jpg?t=1220538215[/img] Nice photoshop job but its still funny!
“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”
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Joined: Dec 2006
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Hi,  OFF
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Joined: Apr 2001
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Pro-Consul of Florida King Crimson - SimHQ's Top Poster
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Pro-Consul of Florida King Crimson - SimHQ's Top Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 125,020 Likes: 66 |
So why did you post the same thing that Patrocles posted Weird?
“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”
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Joined: May 2005
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Hotshot
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Hi, OFF thanks! oh...i see in the textcode that you use capital letters for IMG and the simhq code is small case...
Animal Mother > Rambo+ChuckNorris
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Joined: May 2005
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Hotshot
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So why did you post the same thing that Patrocles posted Weird? I didn't post the image, or at least I can't see the image on the comps here at work. Can you see the image in my first post within this thread?
Animal Mother > Rambo+ChuckNorris
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HOA's
by Terl9999 - 09/18/26 04:12 AM
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Football
by Terl9999 - 09/18/26 02:42 AM
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Flags
by Terl9999 - 09/15/26 10:03 PM
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